In what is being called the “fastest goal in a professional soccer match,” Saudi striker Nawaf Al Abed scored 2 seconds into the match when he caught the goalkeeper off his line. Thankfully, the goal played little role in the final score (save for totally deflating the team who conceded it) as Nawaf and his team ended up winning the game, 4-0.

From the YouTube description: “Straight from the kickoff, Al Abed spotted the Al Shoalah goalkeeper off his line and that was all the invitation needed for the striker to try his luck from the halfway line. With power and accuracy, Al Abed launched a shot goalwards which flew of the keepers head and into the net ”

That, kids, is why goalkeepers must ALWAYS be paying attention. ALWAYS.

Isn’t this the cat from the Amstel commercial?

Sucks to be that kid. At least they got another throw-in out of it.

That dude has game. I totally love this clip, never ceases to make me laugh/smile.

Hey IHJC readers, we are at the RBNY wrap party tonight, so if you’re coming out and want to say hi, feel free.

btw, the food is awesome!

Update (7:30): The sushi is great. Glad that I didn’t smush it on Luke Sassano.

Update (8:00): Tracy is star struck by Dane Richards. She wants to put him in her pocket.

Update (8:23): I finally got my photo with Angel. I told him “I am a Villa fan because of you.” Honestly, we got season tickets because he signed with RBNY. Soooooo happy.

Update (8:35): My wife is cute. Matthew Mbuta introduced himself to her and she told him he was a great addition to the team. Nice.

Update (8:38): Someone “Jon Conwayed” on the floor. Stinky.

Update (8:55): Where is Ives?

Update (10:21): No MLS player should have to take one for the team. That’s really all I can say, but we should have bailed that dude out.

Update (10:45): David Roth CAN move! That crazy dude won’t stop dancing.

Update (10:47): “Luke Sassano looks like any 16 year old at a bar mitzah” might be my favorite line of the night.

Update (10:51): Just saw John Gilkerson in the men’s room. Asked him if he knew David Roth could move like that. He said, “no.” I <3 John Gilkerson.

Update (12:06 AM ET): Dear G-d, I am so bombed that I don’t know how I am going to get to work tomorrow. Please…get me to work in the morning in one piece. Please?

Also, thanks to IHJC and RBNY diehards Jacob and Ethan for finding us tonight and keeping me there WELL past my bedtime. Ugh.