Photo: Getty Images via MLS

It’s tough watching the team struggle like they are. I used to find a way to blame Jon Conway, but right now, we’re very offensively stagnant and/or unlucky. Despite having the majority of possession, we aren’t attacking very well and are allowing the opposing teams to fall back into a defensive shell. It’s ugly footie, frankly. Last night’s 3-1 loss only highlights exactly what is wrong with the team: without creative people feeding Angel the ball (Lindpere and Nielsen were both out) we are pretty much a “bang it long and hope someone flicks it on goal” sort of team.

That or we flick it in. Like Salou or, last night, Tony Tchani.

Can Dane develop a “football mind?” I have no idea. Where’s Jozy when you need him? Thierry Henry might help, but the worst result from last night should have been a draw. That we also BLED three goals defensively (one 5 minutes after “Team Glidden” first scored and the clincher just after we had pulled one back), shows how little composure we have defensively. That’s not a skill issue. Someone needs to step up.

Evidently, the “Con-man” is in Toronto now. Can’t wait ’til he has to take goal kicks at Red Bull Arena

This guy’s life = better than yours, Jon Conway. Also, I know you’re mad and probably found your way into a suit of “Hans Backe” skin, but letting go of Danny Cepero like that was bogus. Oh well.

That being said, enjoy that rad clip of “world renowned freerunner Ryan Doyle” treating RBA as his own personal playground.

Have a good, safe holiday – Happy Thanksgiving!

Man, what a great day. Soccer by Ives just wrote the sweetest 4 words I have ever read: RBNY “waived goalkeeper Jon Conway”. I am BEYOND ecstatic that this happened at all; that it took this long is scary, but with with “Duckman’s” departure last week, as long as we don’t spend cash on any major, overpriced acquisitions (read: Khano/Rojas), we are finally headed in the correct direction. The last two-three seasons have been very difficult for this RBNY/Metro fan as my (now-)wife and I made the season ticket splurge two years ago and got to witness not only last season’s amazing playoff run, but this year’s epic collapse as well.

Yes, the chips seem down, don’t they? Who cares? 9 months ago when we launched, most people told me I was just bitter and crazy and that no one would EVER agree with me. Well, RBNY let the bum go and I kinda proved that I was right all along. While I don’t welcome the bad karma of wishing another man out of a job, I have a feeling he’ll probably con his way into another gig soon enough (and if the NJ-area player ends up in Philly and plays a role in hurting us, I will FREAK). He wasn’t the team’s only problem, but he was a big one.

I heart you, RBNY. Agoos is next.

Yeah, O-SORRY-O and JC gotta go. No wings being played against a team that attacks on the wing (Colorado)? Two crosses played to the far post (at the far post!) that are headed in for goals?

I know playing for Red Bull must be terrible, but if Erik Stover thinks JCO deserves a chance to right this ship, he’s sadly mistaken. We are BAAAAAAAAAAAAD and if you wonder why only 10K people managed to show up to watch this terrible game, you are effing really clueless.

Rare is the day that I actually get an opportunity to sit down and rebut an intelligent and thought-provoking blog post, but here’s an example from Monday [Not every steroid scandal is quite what it seems]. Honestly, I don’t really do that here, this was designed as an attention-grabbing blog PRIOR to the performance-enhancing drug suspension of Major League Soccer’s own Jeff Parke and, the namesake of this blog, Jon Conway. I was bored and the guy has rubbed me very wrong personally so I made this as a way to entertain myself and the fans/season ticket holders of section 105 (we sit in row 9 and I am pretty easy to find if someone wanted to talk about my opinions or even share their own!) and it didn’t catch a lot of heat from players, but there was some. We still get grief from other Metro/RBNY supporters because they feel that what we do/think is disrespectful when, in fact, it’s just in fun. Always has been. (more…)

With a 4-1 win over SJ, RBNY are officially NOT the worst team in MLS. Hooray!

A Red Bulls team that scored a league-low five goals in 720 minutes scorched the net four times in 40 minutes. Jorge Rojas scored his first two MLS goals inside of 20 minutes. Juan Pablo Angel added a third in the 22nd minute and Mac Kandji made it 4-0 five minutes from halftime. [Soccer By Ives]

I’d like to think that my bout of “not-the-Swine Flu” totally influenced the “God of Influenza H1N1″ to knock Conway out for the game. The above screen shot, which was(n’t) taken from the game feed, shows that I was right. Don’t touch him, Albert, it looks like someone’s got “the swine”!

Wow, I hate you more than ever, Jon. Here’s your latest douchey quote regarding “Creamy White Cheese Sauce” Pacheco and his assertion that you called him off the ball (Soccer by Ives):

So who was to blame? When asked if Conway called for the ball, the keeper said “I’ve got to look over it, view it, see what the situation was. I have to look at it this week.”

So despite that your teammate and MOST OF US IN SECTION 105 heard you call him off the ball, you can’t take responsibility for your shitty decision? You won’t take responsibility for any of your bad choices, will you? I am tired of this story, Jon. I want to like you, to embrace the whole team, but you really, really fuck up a lot. You’re the Guillermo Mota of NY/NJ area soccer: NO LEAD IS SAFE WITH YOU. Last year, we were lead to believe that it was Cichero, no Jimenez, no, it was Boyens or Parke, right? Even once JCO is canned because he’s biting on the big one, you’ll still be around, being mediocre and making mediocre choices that cost us points.

You make a big save once in a while. That’s great. Some of those are due to your inability to field crosses or set walls properly – seventh grade shit. Try coming up big when it matters, win something. Lead us somewhere. Stop quitting in the 89th minute.

After his 10 game suspension for failing a performance enhancing drug test and his seeming inability to address that same important issue a la Mark McGwire, the not-so-lovable Jon Conway returned to RBNY to collect a 2-0 win last night.

Ugh.

For the uninitiated, on a direct kick in the 89th minute he set a wall incorrectly and that almost resulted in a near post goal (it was def. his fault). After misplaying a breakaway, the ball hit his knees (not his hands or body like the proper technique would have created) and almost soared into his own goal (thanks to Goldy for the flying save), he gets “credit” for having played well. I don’t understand how fans can overanalyze the release points of pitchers or quarterbacks, but people STILL don’t get that there is more to goalkeeping than stopping the occasional shot.

Jon Conway is a good shot stopper. That’s really it. He’s a terrible game manager, he’s lousy with distributions/counter attack (less distance and, more importantly, accuracy, than Cepero), he makes dumb decisions and just when people start to see that gathering a cross in the air prevents a shot from even happening (which is WAY safer than allowing a point blank header or volley) this guy lucks into a start and ends up with a shutout due to Danny’s injury last week?

What’s he got on JCO and Des, cuz Cepero was suited up and on the bench last night.

Don’t get me wrong, I love RBNY/Metro, I always have and probably always will. I just know that RBNY was thisfar from making the playoffs with Capt. “Won’t Talk About My Suspension” and a younger, albeit greener keeper lead us to the Cup Finals with big saves and by managing the game well.

Coincidence?

No.