Well, that’s hilarious. Seriously, that ball took a hop worse than RBNY’s Danny Cepero‘s, so I really think we can stop focusing on this “once in a lifetime” thing. Poor keeper, though.

OMG! WTF? RBNY are going to MLS Cup after a 1-0 win in Salt Lake City.

Wow. I think I might throw up from glee. Thank you, Dave van den Bergh. Thank you, Danny Cepero. Thank you, multiple goalposts and RSL’s lack of finishing ability.

Wow.

Holy effing eff, we are going to the Conference Championship for the first time in 8 years. This is a ridiculous day in MetroBulls history and we have 5 great saves (or 8 saves, according to ESPN) from Danny Cepero to thank for that. Let’s take a minute, build a shrine and thank this man for his ridiculous athleticism:

Yes, Dane Richards, JPA and Woly all had goals (and thanks for those, guys!), but when it came down to crunch time and the two-time defending MLS Cup champion, Houston Dynamo, were pressing hard for an equalizing and/or goal to reduce the lead, Danny played out of his gourd. Thanks to you, Danny Cepero, I have to go book my tickets to Utah. More thoughts later. Now, we drink heavily and eat Chinese food.

A big victory occurred yesterday for so many of us. We all stood up and our voices counted…we will not be ignored. For too long, we’ve been doubted, been spit upon and beaten into the ground. That’s right, short ‘keepers, this man was MLS Goalkeeper of the Year:

Three Cheers for Jon Busch!

I have known Jon since I was 14. We aren’t great friends or anything, but its been a total pleasure watching his career take off. He’s not on RBNY, but he’s everything that is right with the position: highly cerebral, terribly athletic and he’s fantastic at controlling the tempo of the match and defending outside the six-yard box. (more…)

So, in our most important game of the season, we played terrible. Great. That was an embarrassing effort that resulted in a 5-2 loss. It didn’t matter who was in goal tonight, although, Mike Richter might have been the best option for us.

Basically, we stink. I can’t figure out if I even want us to make the playoffs at this point because we really, really played terrible. This isn’t Conway’s fault or Parke’s fault or Cepero’s fault (he’s faultless in this entire mess and could have done NOTHING about this team’s performance before these last two games and I would argue he couldn’t have done anything about tonight either), or Agoos or anyone but Bruce effing Arena.

Yes, this douche:

Come finish the article “after the jump” (more…)

According to a report at Soccer by Ives, Jon Conway has been suspended by MLS for 10 games for taking a banned substance. This news comes just about 48 hours before the final home game of the regular season, right at a time when the Red Bulls needed to win and control their own destiny. We could make the playoffs still…and I don’t have to watch Jon Conway playing in goal again.

Conway and Parke tested positive for androstatriendione (ATD) and boldenone metabolites, two banned performance enhancing substances. They will now miss the remainding two regular season matches and the playoffs, if the Red Bulls qualify.

The suspensions are the longest in MLS history.

Cepero…FTW!!!

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Oh and fuck you, Jon Conway. I won’t get started on Jeff Parke (who was also suspended) but this is what you get for having this touchhole pick up your “supplements”. Fuck you, Conway. You’re a joke and you needed to “gas” up for MLS? I hope to never see you in the league again.

Updated with new links!!! (more…)