On top of needing a new hairstylist (wtf was up with this mane???), David Beckham needs a new “puffer”. That’s what little kids call inhalers, isn’t it? Any way, David and the LA Galaxy lost the MLS Cup Championship last night to Real Salt Lake on penalty kicks, the first time in league history.

14 years of long ball and boring soccer from the likes of Bruce Arena, the New England Revs and DC Scum and it’s taken this long for a penalty shootout for the title?

Yikes. Color me shocked.

Basically, we stink. I can’t figure out if I even want us to make the playoffs at this point because we really, really played terrible. This isn’t Conway’s fault or Parke’s fault or Cepero’s fault (he’s faultless in this entire mess and could have done NOTHING about this team’s performance before these last two games and I would argue he couldn’t have done anything about tonight either), or Agoos or anyone but Bruce effing Arena.

Yes, this douche:

Come finish the article “after the jump”

See, over a year ago, this ass clown blew into NYC promising us a top level club from the ashes of what consistently plays like an expansion franchise. He got us VDB and Angel (hurrah!) but then brought in a Reyna that was so far past him prime that he was basically a lawn jockey on the pitch. He couldn’t do anything and he and Bruce were “fighting”. Then Bruce was fighting with management and instead of us building a good, reliable team behind Angel (who deserves as much), he left behind a team that is .500 the last two seasons combined. Really, we’re bad.

I don’t want to see Angel go, but Kandji and Mbuta are green, Leitch is a joke, Boyens and Cichero and Jimenez are band aids as best (they try hard but the problem runs much deeper than this) and we have little to no ability going forward, so we resort to playing everything (and if you watched tonight EVERYTHING was a long ball). Poor Angel.

JPA, I don’t want to see you go, but I would totally understand if you were considering a move to Italy with Beckykins.

Gross effort RBNY. Gross.