Wow, I hate you more than ever, Jon. Here’s your latest douchey quote regarding “Creamy White Cheese Sauce” Pacheco and his assertion that you called him off the ball (Soccer by Ives):

So who was to blame? When asked if Conway called for the ball, the keeper said “I’ve got to look over it, view it, see what the situation was. I have to look at it this week.”

So despite that your teammate and MOST OF US IN SECTION 105 heard you call him off the ball, you can’t take responsibility for your shitty decision? You won’t take responsibility for any of your bad choices, will you? I am tired of this story, Jon. I want to like you, to embrace the whole team, but you really, really fuck up a lot. You’re the Guillermo Mota of NY/NJ area soccer: NO LEAD IS SAFE WITH YOU. Last year, we were lead to believe that it was Cichero, no Jimenez, no, it was Boyens or Parke, right? Even once JCO is canned because he’s biting on the big one, you’ll still be around, being mediocre and making mediocre choices that cost us points.

You make a big save once in a while. That’s great. Some of those are due to your inability to field crosses or set walls properly – seventh grade shit. Try coming up big when it matters, win something. Lead us somewhere. Stop quitting in the 89th minute.

That dude has game. I totally love this clip, never ceases to make me laugh/smile.

NY Red Bull midfielder Seth Stammler is out for the remainder of the season. This isn’t great news, not by a long shot. This is the type o’ shizz RBNY/Metro seem to have happen every year and it HURTS and sucks and makes me want to punch myself in the face. Dammit. This is lame and terrible timing.

I am going to blame Bruce Arena. It makes me feel better.

More news after the jump (more…)

Hey IHJC readers, we are at the RBNY wrap party tonight, so if you’re coming out and want to say hi, feel free.

btw, the food is awesome!

Update (7:30): The sushi is great. Glad that I didn’t smush it on Luke Sassano.

Update (8:00): Tracy is star struck by Dane Richards. She wants to put him in her pocket.

Update (8:23): I finally got my photo with Angel. I told him “I am a Villa fan because of you.” Honestly, we got season tickets because he signed with RBNY. Soooooo happy.

Update (8:35): My wife is cute. Matthew Mbuta introduced himself to her and she told him he was a great addition to the team. Nice.

Update (8:38): Someone “Jon Conwayed” on the floor. Stinky.

Update (8:55): Where is Ives?

Update (10:21): No MLS player should have to take one for the team. That’s really all I can say, but we should have bailed that dude out.

Update (10:45): David Roth CAN move! That crazy dude won’t stop dancing.

Update (10:47): “Luke Sassano looks like any 16 year old at a bar mitzah” might be my favorite line of the night.

Update (10:51): Just saw John Gilkerson in the men’s room. Asked him if he knew David Roth could move like that. He said, “no.” I <3 John Gilkerson.

Update (12:06 AM ET): Dear G-d, I am so bombed that I don’t know how I am going to get to work tomorrow. Please…get me to work in the morning in one piece. Please?

Also, thanks to IHJC and RBNY diehards Jacob and Ethan for finding us tonight and keeping me there WELL past my bedtime. Ugh.

Really, you did such a nice job on that goal, I almost forgot that you got scored upon. No worries, Jon, you played hard, you only cost us 3 points with your lack of game maintenance and inability to clear crosses.

You’re just really terrible and that goal wouldn’t have been scored if you had come out and played the cross, you dumbass. Please, take lessons from Gaspar or Machnik or someone other than Des this offseason, cuz you obviously aren’t listening.

Jon Conway = the suck.