(Photo by Chris Gardner/Getty Images North America)

…he still won’t warm up by our corner of the field. The last home match, he just sat on the bench.

I pay good money to just randomly yell at backups, he could at LEAST come acknowledge the folks who hate him most.

If I was ever granted to do much more than ruin Jon Conway’s life (note: I am referring to the third result on Google being this very site, not like I actually did anything to the guy, like put Androstendione or Boldenone in his wheatgrass), I think I would do the above. Not sure how I would pull that off, but it would be worth it.

Mark your calendars, IHJC fans. Conway and the Chicago Fire will be back in town on August 13th. Get your tickets now! We’ve got Metro Playoff Fever!

Evidently, the “Con-man” is in Toronto now. Can’t wait ’til he has to take goal kicks at Red Bull Arena

Yeah, O-SORRY-O and JC gotta go. No wings being played against a team that attacks on the wing (Colorado)? Two crosses played to the far post (at the far post!) that are headed in for goals?

I know playing for Red Bull must be terrible, but if Erik Stover thinks JCO deserves a chance to right this ship, he’s sadly mistaken. We are BAAAAAAAAAAAAD and if you wonder why only 10K people managed to show up to watch this terrible game, you are effing really clueless.

With a 4-1 win over SJ, RBNY are officially NOT the worst team in MLS. Hooray!

A Red Bulls team that scored a league-low five goals in 720 minutes scorched the net four times in 40 minutes. Jorge Rojas scored his first two MLS goals inside of 20 minutes. Juan Pablo Angel added a third in the 22nd minute and Mac Kandji made it 4-0 five minutes from halftime. [Soccer By Ives]

I’d like to think that my bout of “not-the-Swine Flu” totally influenced the “God of Influenza H1N1″ to knock Conway out for the game. The above screen shot, which was(n’t) taken from the game feed, shows that I was right. Don’t touch him, Albert, it looks like someone’s got “the swine”!

Last night’s attendance = 8,508?

I wasn’t excited for Conway’s return either.

After his 10 game suspension for failing a performance enhancing drug test and his seeming inability to address that same important issue a la Mark McGwire, the not-so-lovable Jon Conway returned to RBNY to collect a 2-0 win last night.

Ugh.

For the uninitiated, on a direct kick in the 89th minute he set a wall incorrectly and that almost resulted in a near post goal (it was def. his fault). After misplaying a breakaway, the ball hit his knees (not his hands or body like the proper technique would have created) and almost soared into his own goal (thanks to Goldy for the flying save), he gets “credit” for having played well. I don’t understand how fans can overanalyze the release points of pitchers or quarterbacks, but people STILL don’t get that there is more to goalkeeping than stopping the occasional shot.

Jon Conway is a good shot stopper. That’s really it. He’s a terrible game manager, he’s lousy with distributions/counter attack (less distance and, more importantly, accuracy, than Cepero), he makes dumb decisions and just when people start to see that gathering a cross in the air prevents a shot from even happening (which is WAY safer than allowing a point blank header or volley) this guy lucks into a start and ends up with a shutout due to Danny’s injury last week?

What’s he got on JCO and Des, cuz Cepero was suited up and on the bench last night.

Don’t get me wrong, I love RBNY/Metro, I always have and probably always will. I just know that RBNY was thisfar from making the playoffs with Capt. “Won’t Talk About My Suspension” and a younger, albeit greener keeper lead us to the Cup Finals with big saves and by managing the game well.

Coincidence?

No.

Update: Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero scored from 80 yards! My life is complete.

Update: In the Corner Pub celebrating a great 3-1 NY win. Good to see so many people out to celebrate the season. The fan event before Halloween should be fun too.