Photo: Getty Images via MLS

It’s tough watching the team struggle like they are. I used to find a way to blame Jon Conway, but right now, we’re very offensively stagnant and/or unlucky. Despite having the majority of possession, we aren’t attacking very well and are allowing the opposing teams to fall back into a defensive shell. It’s ugly footie, frankly. Last night’s 3-1 loss only highlights exactly what is wrong with the team: without creative people feeding Angel the ball (Lindpere and Nielsen were both out) we are pretty much a “bang it long and hope someone flicks it on goal” sort of team.

That or we flick it in. Like Salou or, last night, Tony Tchani.

Can Dane develop a “football mind?” I have no idea. Where’s Jozy when you need him? Thierry Henry might help, but the worst result from last night should have been a draw. That we also BLED three goals defensively (one 5 minutes after “Team Glidden” first scored and the clincher just after we had pulled one back), shows how little composure we have defensively. That’s not a skill issue. Someone needs to step up.

Allow me to say “eff”. Glad I didn’t put money on my Spain-Germany Final prediction.

Michael Ballack, midfielder for Chelsea and Germany captain, will miss the upcoming 2010 FIFA World Cup due to an ankle injury. He suffered the injury in the English FA Cup final on Saturday, May 15, 2010 after a tackle from Kevin-Prince Boateng. Ballack has played in several World Cups and was expected to be a major part of the German squad in the midfield. Below is the official statement from the German Football Association (DFB).

The tomogram showed a torn interior ligament and a partial rupture of the syndesmosis ligament of his right ankle, which for the time being will have to be immobilized and put in a cast. Ballack will then wear a specially designed shoe for two weeks. German team doctor Hans-Wilhelm Müller-Wohlfahrt said, that according to today’s diagnosis, Ballack can look forward to a complete recovery, but that a minimum eight weeks will be required before the German skipper may consider returning to regular training.

Well, since that screws up a ton of stuff. To make me feel better, here’s footage of the coolest dive ever by Jurgen Klinsmann from the 1990 World Cup:

Check out the “making of” “after the jump” (more…)

Well, it’s Friday, people. Tomorrow’s “Meet the Team” Day and we WON’T have to meet Jon Conway for the first time in years. In honor of that occasion, I found something great from our friends at The Sporting Blog: an ultra-rare “tandem” bicycle kick.

Sebastian Romero and Marco Perez activated their Wonder Twin powers to combine on what might be the first and only tandem bicycle kick goal in the history of the world. At least in actual competition. I can see it being staged in someone’s backyard. The two Gimnasia La Plata players had the serendipitous pairing of kicks after the ball deflected off a Boca Juniors defender in an Argentina Primera Division match last Sunday. [I Believe That's What Is Called a Tandem Bicycle Kick]

Yeah, that’s pretty awesome. The commercials that play AFTER the highlights are pretty great too. I learned how to move my body. Cool beans?

I won’t sit here and say that I haven’t lost my cool during a soccer match before (that would be a total lie), but there’s no excuse for this level of aggression. In this clip, Arlington Shirley of North West Rankin High (Ms) is just pummeled (and not in a good way at all) by Zach Windom of Gulfport High (Ms).

I feel bad for Zach’s teammates as they really were impacted by his bad choice and he should, really, be forced to the sidelines for the rest of the year. You just can’t do stuff like that, if you let it happen in sports under the guise of “aggression,” you’re sugar coating some serious anger issues. They’re right there to see.

Zach, man, you’re bigger than the kid, you’re probably stronger than the kid and you had to punk him out like that. It’s a contact sport, dude, and his contact (from what I can see in this clip) was all legal. It would have taken you far less time and energy to just walk away, but now this will probably cost you a lot. I just hope you learn from this and move on.

Well, that’s hilarious. Seriously, that ball took a hop worse than RBNY’s Danny Cepero‘s, so I really think we can stop focusing on this “once in a lifetime” thing. Poor keeper, though.

Sounds preposterous, right? Well, you would be dead wrong.

German goalie Jens Lehman really needed a potty break during Stuttgart’s Champions League match with Unirea Urziceni on Wednesday night.

So he ducked behind some advertising boards and went to the bathroom right in the middle of the match, which they won 3-1. [via]

Guess you could say that they opponents scared the piss out him. Hahahahahah ha.

…

I had to do that once, but it was in college and there were no boards. Embarrassing story.

The World Cup 2010 Match Ball, the Jabulani. Best part about this one: the only way that Jon Conway ever gets his hands on one is to purchase it.

Eff that guy.

Translated literally, “JABULANI” means “to celebrate.” I will be celebrating our awesome World Cup draw tonight, that’s for sure.

Press release and quotes from Kaka, Frank Lampard and more “after the jump” (more…)

If I didn’t know it better, I would think that there was NO global recession. Today, FIFA announced the amount that the World Cup winner’s home federation as the top prize in next summer’s WC: $30 million.

Jeebus effing eff. Giving away a total of $54 million for the WC final (as the runner-up will be receiving $24 million) in a nation that is pretty well decimated by poverty is just plain gross. There’s just no better way to say it.

“Soccer’s World Cup organizers said prize money for next year’s edition in South Africa is being raised by 61 percent from the last tournament, to $420 million.

World soccer’s governing body FIFA revealed the figures after an executive committee meeting on Robben Island, off the coast of South Africa.” [The Original Winger]

Photo Credit: Seth Binsted/The Breeze

In today’s MLS Expansion draft, we expected to see Amado Guevara, Frankie Hejduk or Eddie Robinson taken to help coach Peter/Piotr Nowak build the nucleus of what should be a pretty decent team in Philly next year. Instead, we saw a good, scrappy bunch of kids (including RBNY’s Nick Zimmerman) leaving their digs for “greener” pastures in Philadelphia.

There were no superstars taken, no former league MVPs. No players with U.S. national team caps, or players with multiple all-star appearances, or even players with ties to the Philadelphia area. When the final list of players chosen by the Philadelphia Union was announced, we were treated to a group of MLS players who could make up the type of tough and tenacious team that Nowak likes, and Philadelphia fans will want to root for. [SBI]

The fact that Zimmerman was left exposed (eff you Jeff Agoos!) makes me very, very angry. The new sporting director is on his way (believe me, it’s no damn secret who it is!) but we couldn’t find a way to hang on to a kid that had proven that he got it. We didn’t let Sassano or Sinisa go for similar reasons and dammit, I wanted Nick around. Now that $5 thing I bought off that kid in the Giants Stadium parking lot isn’t worth $h!t.

Ugh.