Well, that’s hilarious. Seriously, that ball took a hop worse than RBNY’s Danny Cepero’s, so I really think we can stop focusing on this “once in a lifetime” thing. Poor keeper, though.

Yeah, I am going to watch the World Cup in 3D, I think. From my home. Where I don’t fear BEING KILLED. [Image via Dirty Tackle]

Sounds preposterous, right? Well, you would be dead wrong.

German goalie Jens Lehman really needed a potty break during Stuttgart’s Champions League match with Unirea Urziceni on Wednesday night.

So he ducked behind some advertising boards and went to the bathroom right in the middle of the match, which they won 3-1. [via]

Guess you could say that they opponents scared the piss out him. Hahahahahah ha.

…

I had to do that once, but it was in college and there were no boards. Embarrassing story.

The World Cup 2010 Match Ball, the Jabulani. Best part about this one: the only way that Jon Conway ever gets his hands on one is to purchase it.

Eff that guy.

Translated literally, “JABULANI” means “to celebrate.” I will be celebrating our awesome World Cup draw tonight, that’s for sure.

Press release and quotes from Kaka, Frank Lampard and more “after the jump” (more…)

If I didn’t know it better, I would think that there was NO global recession. Today, FIFA announced the amount that the World Cup winner’s home federation as the top prize in next summer’s WC: $30 million.

Jeebus effing eff. Giving away a total of $54 million for the WC final (as the runner-up will be receiving $24 million) in a nation that is pretty well decimated by poverty is just plain gross. There’s just no better way to say it.

“Soccer’s World Cup organizers said prize money for next year’s edition in South Africa is being raised by 61 percent from the last tournament, to $420 million.

World soccer’s governing body FIFA revealed the figures after an executive committee meeting on Robben Island, off the coast of South Africa.” [The Original Winger]

Have a good, safe holiday – Happy Thanksgiving!

Photo Credit: Seth Binsted/The Breeze

In today’s MLS Expansion draft, we expected to see Amado Guevara, Frankie Hejduk or Eddie Robinson taken to help coach Peter/Piotr Nowak build the nucleus of what should be a pretty decent team in Philly next year. Instead, we saw a good, scrappy bunch of kids (including RBNY’s Nick Zimmerman) leaving their digs for “greener” pastures in Philadelphia.

There were no superstars taken, no former league MVPs. No players with U.S. national team caps, or players with multiple all-star appearances, or even players with ties to the Philadelphia area. When the final list of players chosen by the Philadelphia Union was announced, we were treated to a group of MLS players who could make up the type of tough and tenacious team that Nowak likes, and Philadelphia fans will want to root for. [SBI]

The fact that Zimmerman was left exposed (eff you Jeff Agoos!) makes me very, very angry. The new sporting director is on his way (believe me, it’s no damn secret who it is!) but we couldn’t find a way to hang on to a kid that had proven that he got it. We didn’t let Sassano or Sinisa go for similar reasons and dammit, I wanted Nick around. Now that $5 thing I bought off that kid in the Giants Stadium parking lot isn’t worth $h!t.

Ugh.

On top of needing a new hairstylist (wtf was up with this mane???), David Beckham needs a new “puffer”. That’s what little kids call inhalers, isn’t it? Any way, David and the LA Galaxy lost the MLS Cup Championship last night to Real Salt Lake on penalty kicks, the first time in league history.

14 years of long ball and boring soccer from the likes of Bruce Arena, the New England Revs and DC Scum and it’s taken this long for a penalty shootout for the title?

Yikes. Color me shocked.

Yeah, he definitely got a hand on that one. Bad refereeing and terrible that something as crucial as a WORLD CUP QUALIFYING MATCH should come down to a missed call.

Thierry Henry is one of this generation’s legends of European soccer. The 32-year-old striker has been a member of the French national team since 1997 and has scored over 50 goals for Les Bleux – to say nothing of his nearly 230 goals in club play. He was one of the faces of Gillette shaving products stateside and has also been featured in innumerable soccer advertisements here and overseas. He’s also, as FOX SPORTS notes, guilty of one of the most flagrant uncalled handballs in the history of international play; step aside, Maradona. [Sports by Brooks]

You got to finish matches early and make it so that those blunders cannot effect the outcome as they will happen. Obviously.

The Univ. of Stony Brook Men’s Soccer team advanced to the America East Championship game over Hartford by a score of 3-2 in a penalty shootout. That’s not the cool part.

I actually know Dan Gaspar, Univ. of Hartford coach, but his keeper is a total weirdo for his cartwheel trick. Just saying that my tricks with blades of grass and my “Laurel and Hardy routine” were far better than this is. Word.

[Stony Brook v. Hartford Men’s Soccer Semifinal Shootout aka Cartwheel Guys h/t The Original Winger]