…bye bye, Jon. You will won’t be missed. I won’t have you as a personal punching bag anymore, but I still don’t think you’re any good.

Chicago, IL —
Veteran goalkeeper Jon Conway retired Tuesday, ending his 12-year Major League Soccer career.

Conway made 88 appearances, including 85 starts, during his career. He had 23 shutouts. (Chicago Tribune)

(Photo by Chris Gardner/Getty Images North America)

…he still won’t warm up by our corner of the field. The last home match, he just sat on the bench.

I pay good money to just randomly yell at backups, he could at LEAST come acknowledge the folks who hate him most.

Who threw the firecracker? Was it Jon Conway? Wouldn’t surprise me at all.

If I was ever granted to do much more than ruin Jon Conway’s life (note: I am referring to the third result on Google being this very site, not like I actually did anything to the guy, like put Androstendione or Boldenone in his wheatgrass), I think I would do the above. Not sure how I would pull that off, but it would be worth it.

Mark your calendars, IHJC fans. Conway and the Chicago Fire will be back in town on August 13th. Get your tickets now! We’ve got Metro Playoff Fever!

Great start to the season so far, eh, Pink Cow fans? This will be the year, certainly…I’ve got Metro Playoff Fever! And you know why things are looking up: Juan Agudelo! The kid is the future, until we find a way to undervalue his worth and sell him away for pennies on the dollar. Until then, here’s another highlight in the making.

I love this kid.

Yesterday was a pretty sucky day, for certain. Knowing since the beginning of October that our captain and the greatest striker in MLS history, Juan Pablo Angel, wasn’t returning to the New York Red Bulls was a kick in the gut as it was. In my head, I wanted him to stay in the league, but avoid any of our main rivals (which happened!). Instead, he landed in the lap of Bruce Arena, the man responsible from stealing him away Aston Villa all those years ago. So, if he signs with the Galaxy, I know that the wife won’t want to part with those tickets this year.

We’ve already seen dumb keepers and their dumb, dumb, dumb premature celebrations costing themselves a penalty kick save. Now, we get to see another “lack of concentration” cost this keeper as well. As was pointed out by the team at Dirty Tackle, “this goalkeeper apparently had a bit of good luck on his side. According to the YouTube user who uploaded the video, his team ended up winning anyway.”

Lucky bastard.

There was a “Con Man” sighting in Toronto today as Jon Conway got the nod in goal versus the Columbus Crew. I guess he played well (frankly, I can’t be bothered to watch more than highlights of him failing), but he does manage to get a red card for a stupid retaliation. Sure, he was fouled on a flighted ball, but attacking any player like he did (especially when he probably outweighs the dude by like 80 pounds), is just dangerous and shows that this cockrocket is STILL only about himself. Never mind that his backup ended up conceding a really weak goal at the end of the match because of that, right Jon?

What a douche.

Sure, it’s not as COOL as Danny Cepero’s 80-yard strike, but this was pretty funny too. Great celebration by the keeper.

Yes, I’ve been pouting since Martin O’Neill left Aston Villa. I will admit it. But that video made me laugh. What an ass.

[h/t The Original Winger]