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Don’t Call It a Comeback…

…the Dutch been here for years. Giovanni van Bronckhorst may have hit a screamer against Uruguay in the World Cup semifinals, but it wasn’t his first. Hell, it wasn’t even his first from THAT EXACT SPOT.

Darth Vader WOULD Make a Clutch Free Kick Ace

US Gets Hosed by Koman Coulibaly

At least I didn’t do it this time, right? Bad officiating, but it’s been an exciting cup so far.

Burpo Injured Before Revs Cruise Past 9-Man Pink Cows

Goodness, poor Preston Burpo. Sure, we played like ass once we were down to 9 players, but DAY-UMN, his leg injury was gnarly. You would think Angel’s diving header would have been enough to inspire us forward, but I guess not?

I won’t post this clip on the front page as it is GRAPHIC, but check it out “after the jump” (more…)

Landycakes’ New ESPN Commercial

Cute. Clever. Funny.

I still hate him, though.

Apologies to “The Old Lady”


Getty Images for Red Bull New York

After a string of losses and a sudden inability to create anything substantial offensively, Red Bull New York rebounded yesterday with a 3-1 win over Italian Serie A great, Juventus. Granted, according to David Trezeguet, “these matches count for little,” it was still a great day of soccer from both the Italian side and our own Bulls (who I only call the “Pink Cows” when they can’t seem to effing score or play like arse).

Greg Sutton was solid in goal, making the saves required of him and despite the late Amauri goal, he was pretty good. We’ll obviously be seeing him again on Wednesday in the US Open Cup match against Colorado, so hopefully the team we fielded Sunday will be back in front of him.

While Conor Chinn was Man of the Match, it should be noted that Irvinho (you people can call him Irving Garcia, but this kid is a beast!), played another bonkers game. He’s earned some starts in league play and maybe bringing Dane Richards off the bench as a super sub might be the boost we need right now.

The Pink Cows Can’t Score

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Photo: Getty Images via MLS

It’s tough watching the team struggle like they are. I used to find a way to blame Jon Conway, but right now, we’re very offensively stagnant and/or unlucky. Despite having the majority of possession, we aren’t attacking very well and are allowing the opposing teams to fall back into a defensive shell. It’s ugly footie, frankly. Last night’s 3-1 loss only highlights exactly what is wrong with the team: without creative people feeding Angel the ball (Lindpere and Nielsen were both out) we are pretty much a “bang it long and hope someone flicks it on goal” sort of team.

That or we flick it in. Like Salou or, last night, Tony Tchani.

Can Dane develop a “football mind?” I have no idea. Where’s Jozy when you need him? Thierry Henry might help, but the worst result from last night should have been a draw. That we also BLED three goals defensively (one 5 minutes after “Team Glidden” first scored and the clincher just after we had pulled one back), shows how little composure we have defensively. That’s not a skill issue. Someone needs to step up.

Ballack Out of World Cup

Allow me to say “eff”. Glad I didn’t put money on my Spain-Germany Final prediction.

Michael Ballack, midfielder for Chelsea and Germany captain, will miss the upcoming 2010 FIFA World Cup due to an ankle injury. He suffered the injury in the English FA Cup final on Saturday, May 15, 2010 after a tackle from Kevin-Prince Boateng. Ballack has played in several World Cups and was expected to be a major part of the German squad in the midfield. Below is the official statement from the German Football Association (DFB).

The tomogram showed a torn interior ligament and a partial rupture of the syndesmosis ligament of his right ankle, which for the time being will have to be immobilized and put in a cast. Ballack will then wear a specially designed shoe for two weeks. German team doctor Hans-Wilhelm Müller-Wohlfahrt said, that according to today’s diagnosis, Ballack can look forward to a complete recovery, but that a minimum eight weeks will be required before the German skipper may consider returning to regular training.

Well, since that screws up a ton of stuff. To make me feel better, here’s footage of the coolest dive ever by Jurgen Klinsmann from the 1990 World Cup:

“All The Single Brazilians” – Robinho, Neymar and Ganso Make Fools of Themselves to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”


Robinho, Neymar and Ganso make fools of themselves to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. The dancing – not so good. The juggling and tricks = awesome.

Check out the “making of” “after the jump” (more…)

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I Hate Jon Conway - Jon Conway is the Worst Goalkeeper in Major League Soccer, possibly the World. I Hate Jon Conway features the soccer musings of a frustrated Metrostars/Red Bull New York supporter and Aston Villa fan.

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